god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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