I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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