Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
