On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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