week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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