hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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