I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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