Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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