The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
