You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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