i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My cat gives me a boner
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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