I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
