bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't turn off my feet"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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