you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
