No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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