Nicole vs. Life
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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