omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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