It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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