return my video game
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
a search helicopter?!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
