Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
