She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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