garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
