I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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