brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
