I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
