If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
