Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
