dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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