Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
