We're like a lot better than the average bears
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
