I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
