wat bout pragnant strippers??
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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