Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
