His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
