You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
