my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
