i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
