took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
