i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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