she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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