At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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