But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
