I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
