what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
