She's JV to your varsity
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
