Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
dude. I can hear the air.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
