Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
