Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
