is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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