so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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