im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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