Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
