everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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