U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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