Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
