i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
