I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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