For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
