i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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