There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
