If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
