Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's Friday. Sex?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
