Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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