soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize