No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
