Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she smelled like a LAN party
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
