My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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