I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
