There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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